Lent

I do not know what to make of of my Holy Week.
The fact that I didn't even know it began doesn't help either. It was in the middle of the afternoon that I realized that it had started when I encountered the palasapas nestling on the boughs of our front doors. The rest of the week felt ordinary, nonetheless.
I consumed my nights with trivial concerns: what to read, when to bathe, when to get up and smoke, etc. I did, however, manage to do my obligated reverence to the sacred week by looking for movies in local channels about miracles and expiation like the old-film Himala starring Nora Aunor. Apparently though, they don't show it anymore which threw me back. There goes my schedule, I think to myself. (I read that it's important to have a semblance of routine no matter mundane in order to protect one's sanity, especially during vacation when time and space becomes relative and when order ceases and you revert back to a primitive lifestyle--driven by basic needs like food and sleep).

Meanwhile, I made these drawings for some friends. I call them Katy Perry Alien Twins, Fame Hooker Vomits Her Mind--Gaga, of course--, and the third one I call Patty because that's my friend's name and I couldn't think of a concise metaphysical bullshit title for it.

Mind Rush Hour

It's the season, once again, of nocturne. Every summer, little old me turns into a vampire--wandering the halls of the house in somnambulance and being dead to the world from sunrise to sunset. Once the the sun is at the point of departure, it's when I rise from my coffin and I greet the world with a cigarette.
But, folks, for some reason it's getting harder for me to sleep these days. You know that feeling when you're lying on your bed and you force yourself to sleep but you can't? Well that's really it.
It's that time in the early morning that when so many thoughts bounce up and down in my head. When ideas are ripe and excited, and amid the rush I complain, "Not now guys." Kinetic energy; There is a direct relationship of energy and pressure. The more I force myself to sleep, the more my thoughts get aroused.

Anyway, I really need to do something this summer. I set myself a list of goals for my vacation (like read a couple of books, learn photoshop, etc.) and so far I'm doing well--health and production-wise. I applied to Status Magazine but they haven't replied to any of my googolplex of emails, not even to tell me I didn't get in. Ugh. My uncle's a big-shot in Sun (the star...kidding) so he can help get me an internship there, but I was hoping to do something that was aligned to who I am. I applied for another internship for this Arts x Fashion retail store just a few minutes ago, and they seem cool. But if all else fails, I guess Sun's fine. I guess nepotism isn't so bad when you're this desperate.

"Why don't they realize I'm good?" - Jack Kerouac


PS: I finished Purgatorio a few hours ago, Inferno was more kick-ass, but it was cool nonetheless. Especially the last part when Beatrice started bitching at Dante. Apparently, Mr. Alighieri started dating again when Beatrice died.
PPS: Purgatorio ended on Palm Sunday. I finished reading it on Palm Sunday... That's it. 

The Rape of Youth

 

No, this isn't a rip-off of Pan's Labyrinth, although that movie was awesome and I'd like to put a mandrake under my mother's bed also just to freak her out.

But explaining the drawing isn't really tasteful so I'll just leave it to you guys what it means. Just check out the boner of the "guy"--that's my favorite part.

In other news, I applied for Theater Arts as my minor in school (my major is Communications btw) and i got in!!!
So anyway, these are the revised album art for my friend's band. The first one, the rhinos, were rejected because it wasn't wild enough. So it took me a long time to decide what "wild" could be. I made sketches of fat people eating babies, I made a sketch of the Virgin Mary crying blood with vampire fangs with an Ipod, but I was scared that people might find them too wild and insane. So I tried to keep it cool but still macabre by drawing a half-beast half-man with an erection about to rape a girl. I have a full insight about it, but as I said, explaining your own art is kinda pointless, reminds me of one of the literary concepts we took in school, "the author doesn't exist once the material is in the reader's hands." The interpretation is subject.

Here are the other tamer sketches, but they're kinda fug. I made an initial sketch of the heart, then did it again, cleaner and surer this time.  

  

L'homme Pendu

           

I don't usually blog. Well I do, but I just post pictures for the sake of attention. Writing blogs really isn't my thing. I do enjoy writing though, but I honestly assume that no one will read any of the shit I write, except for my teachers. But they're paid to do that.
Yet, somehow, with all these people I follow here in blogspot (still a handful though), I get inspired... Inspiration--how passé. But it's true!
I think art conditions our thoughts and makes us vulnerable and sensitive to emotions. It requires a specific stillness and concentration to be able to appreciate it. I didn't used to be this romantic with life. In high school, I used to be a big judgmental bitch. But once I started experiencing life, once I started to see/hear/feel/taste real life-what's there to be bitchy about? I still bitch once in a while like a girl with PMS though... Therefore, the abstract becomes real to me. Things like love, hope, faith, and inspirations crystallize.

Anyway, this is a sketch I made during my free time--which is a lot--during my summer vacation. And the second picture is me striking a pose while zip-lining upside down which was one of the most thrilling things I've ever done in my life. Although you could feel the blood going up, or down, your head and you can feel your brain pulsating, nonetheless, it was exhilarating. The sky was your earth and the mountains were your sky. I put it there because I liked the juxtaposition of the spider/octopus/vagina-man and me suspended by a string; like we're all connected by a string that extends all the way to the heavens, to the abyss of space, right smack in to the anus of some creature we didn't even know that existed. 

badak api

 

Hi guys, so this is one of the reject drawings I made for a friend's album art. He thought it wasn't wild enough and he thinks I can do more. I guess it's true. I'm just afraid that if I wild-en it out, it might insult people's sensibilities. So, for this one, I toned it down but still tried to make it bad-ass. And what's more bad-ass than a rhino smoking a Marlboro?

 

 Here's the other drawing I made, which I'm in love with. It's called "Flight of the Rhinoceros" named after one of their songs. Another reject, which hurt a little, but whatever, I'm still willing to make another once the juice kicks in.  

By the way,  the term "badak api," in Malay, was used to call rhinos. Badak referring to rhino, and api to fire. And it was said that the animal would come when a fire is lit in the forest and stamp it out. So there you go. 

Noah was a Demi-Alien

In school, I've always thought differently from my classmates; I act differently, I like different things, probably I even look different. Maybe it's because of my extra pair of arms, but I move them at the speed of light sometimes so they won't be seen and I can fit in....haha
They think I'm strange but nonetheless still accept me because:
A. I'm cute
B. They're used to it
C. Both A and B
D. I'm kidding. 

Well anyway, I guess I got it from my family. My sister's a hippie and my mom's a feminist. I have another sister though, but we'll get to her later.
I even remember my oldest sister sharing a book of paintings with me, when I was 11, about demons which fascinated me so much; and my mom telling me odd stories like Rumplestiltskin, Rip Van Winkle and even Beowulf instead of the usual fairy tales. (I also grew up with books instead of toys, plus I had no one to play with).
In fact, a few moments ago, my mom passed by my room to tell me that she was going to see my sister the next day. Let me finish. She also mentioned that Noah, from Noah's ark (duh), was a demi-alien.
Well the idea of Noah being a demi-alien, I guess, synthesizes my stream of thought with generally about everything--my philosophy, my drawings, etc. Man pompously assumes that he knows everything about everything because of his accumulated knowledge from history and other supplements like technology when in fact there's a googolplex of googolplexes of ideas we can't even fathom. Sometimes even technology hinders us from other sources of knowledge because of its objectivity and its nature of being sterile. We become indifferent to other possibilities.
So basically that's the thesis of my work/philosophy: the unusual and not obvious.
It's not that I'm delusional or hopelessly idealistic, I just like to believe that there are other things in life that we're oblivious to and it's only in our unconscious that we become conscious to them.